The heaviness of funeral service
Be a funeral director they said
You'll help people they said
You'll make a difference they said
People will respect you they said
It's an honor and privilege they said
They weren't wrong, but what they didn't say was the heaviness and weight of death that you will carry will somedays consume you, some days burden you and some days make you wonder why did you ever willingly choose THIS.
Somedays I'm the punching bag
I am the person who deals with the anger because who else can a grieving person take their anger out on
Somedays I'm the cruel and evil person who makes money off of your loved ones death and I just carry around buckets of money preying on innocent people who are grieving
I am only trying to provide a service, I am only trying to respond to a death when I am called, I am only trying to keep my doors open so I can continue to help more people, but unfortunately that is not how everyone sees me
Somedays I am a miracle worker, I spend hours trying to bring back a decent image of your loved one who died in a horrible car accident and looked unrecognizable when they were first in my care
But somedays I'm a failure, because despite my best efforts, I didn't make mom look like mom
Yeah those days are the hard days
Somedays I'm the least favorite person you'll ever meet; here I am to carry your stillborn baby out of the hospital room in my arms instead of you taking your baby home
Trust me, on those days, I hate myself too...so why wouldn't you?
Be a funeral director they said
And when I mean "they," what I really mean is God
Because I never had one person who talked me into this
But God said, "you my dear, are a funeral director, and you were made strong enough for this"
Somedays I really believe I help people
Somedays I pray I do make a difference
Somedays I feel highly respected for what I do
Always, I feel honored and privileged to be trusted with the care of your loved one
I hold tight to those days, more than the days I fall short,
More than the days I question why I do this and more than the days I am scrutinized for being perfectly imperfect.
-Alyssa Fullerton
29 yrs old
Funeral Director
Mason City, IA
All rights reserved by copyright
You'll help people they said
You'll make a difference they said
People will respect you they said
It's an honor and privilege they said
They weren't wrong, but what they didn't say was the heaviness and weight of death that you will carry will somedays consume you, some days burden you and some days make you wonder why did you ever willingly choose THIS.
Somedays I'm the punching bag
I am the person who deals with the anger because who else can a grieving person take their anger out on
Somedays I'm the cruel and evil person who makes money off of your loved ones death and I just carry around buckets of money preying on innocent people who are grieving
I am only trying to provide a service, I am only trying to respond to a death when I am called, I am only trying to keep my doors open so I can continue to help more people, but unfortunately that is not how everyone sees me
Somedays I am a miracle worker, I spend hours trying to bring back a decent image of your loved one who died in a horrible car accident and looked unrecognizable when they were first in my care
But somedays I'm a failure, because despite my best efforts, I didn't make mom look like mom
Yeah those days are the hard days
Somedays I'm the least favorite person you'll ever meet; here I am to carry your stillborn baby out of the hospital room in my arms instead of you taking your baby home
Trust me, on those days, I hate myself too...so why wouldn't you?
Be a funeral director they said
And when I mean "they," what I really mean is God
Because I never had one person who talked me into this
But God said, "you my dear, are a funeral director, and you were made strong enough for this"
Somedays I really believe I help people
Somedays I pray I do make a difference
Somedays I feel highly respected for what I do
Always, I feel honored and privileged to be trusted with the care of your loved one
I hold tight to those days, more than the days I fall short,
More than the days I question why I do this and more than the days I am scrutinized for being perfectly imperfect.
-Alyssa Fullerton
29 yrs old
Funeral Director
Mason City, IA
All rights reserved by copyright
this is beautiful! Thank-you for h=giving us a window into your world! You are special indeed! God bless you as you honour Him with your life work<3
ReplyDeleteIt takes a very strong person to do - what you do. Know that when loved ones are grieving or someone doesn't look the same after death; that you have still done your best and the world does appreciate all that you do!
ReplyDeleteHelping others cope with death is a very high calling. My personal undertaker is a beautiful young woman who knows and understands the value of celebrating ones life - at the time of death. She has a partner and children, and even with all of that to manage - still gives willingly of herself to help others when death comes calling. Thank God for these people who care - and handle so carefully those we have lost. You are more appreciated than you know....
ReplyDeleteI love this! Its beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYou are truly a Blessing from God and dont ever feel any less than that. I am so Proud to call you ally Personal Funeral Home and Staff because you go anger and beyond to make things most comfortable for family matter what. Keep the Faith because we know who you are and whose you are. May God continue to Bless you in your Endeavors. Much Love Always. Cheryl L Henton-Wilson
ReplyDeleteThis is just beautiful. You do an amazing job I would not want anyone else. Thanks for all your help.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing. Knowing your parents as we did, I know they would be so proud of you! Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteThere is no doubt in my mind that this is truly your calling from God. You and your staff have carried me through some of the the darkest days of my life, because it is a God thing. Through Him you are able to lift us up when we are unable to think clearly, even to stand. God bless you Mark!
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ReplyDeleteYears ago I was talking with a near lifelong friend and funeral director, Gates Christensen. He shared a memory from years before. A family had come in before the visitation was to begin to be together and see their father. Mr. Christensen said he could see one of the daughters did not look pleased. He stepped forward and asked if everything was alright. "No, Mr. Christensen, it isn't." He inquired as to what he might do. "I don't know." Came the reply. "He just doesn't look right. Dad was so full of life." Some days all of your talent, skills, and training, just aren't enough. You cannot replace that missing ingredient.
ReplyDeleteYou and the whole staff are the right people for the very hard job you are called upon to do. You all serve with grace, dignity and compassion. Couldn't do it any better.
ReplyDeleteThis, so this. It's so hard to explain this to people and you have done it very eloquently.
ReplyDeleteMy grandson, aged 19, has already chosen this to be his vocation, and I am in awe. He is perfect for the job, many tell me. He has just the right demeanor for this, they say. He considers this a ministry. He has already blessed so many, as he also sings at funerals. That is how this really started for him. He started singing at funerals when he was nine. He was with us when both his grandparents passed away. He has such compassion. The other day, however, a Sunday, after a very busy weekend of services, five total, he walked past me and shook his head and said, "Too many dying." One of those services I attended. I was so proud of how he helped and how he conducted himself. I pray the Lord will bless him and those he works with.
ReplyDeleteFred I want to tell you that you went above and beyond for Jimmy's service and took care of me and my kids and his family you are one of a kind and you will always be in all our hearts God bless you and yours I can't thank you enough XOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteYes yours is a tough job, so is mine an insurance agent. I can bend over backwards to help someone though a loss only to have them leave because the accident was their fault and the premium went up. I am competing with everyone and every company on the internet but I do not get to see what the other company quoted just that I am higher. Service just doesn't matter anymore. Yes many jobs give you great joy with a job well done, helping someone and being there at anytime day or night. We cannot let this build in us. We have to let it out. Just talk with someone who listens. That someone happens to be my spouse for life. Find that person and talk often. Thank you for sharing.
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ReplyDeleteI was in funeral service for over 30 years. I graduated Central State University with a Bachelor's degree in Funeral Service. I worked my full tenure with a leading company - 2500 calls per year through two funeral homes, 2000 interments per year in two cemeteries, flower shops and a world-class mausoleum. I was in during the glory days. We sold millions in preneed services every year. Funerals were reasonably priced and the traditional funeral was woven into the fabric of American values. For the most part everyone was buried. A career in funeral service was a bread-winner job. Today, it is a second income position that hasn't kept up with the times. Low pay, long hours and the bar of quality set very low. Things have forever changed. Cremation will over-run burials, if not already, and cremation is a commodity purchase where differentiation is very hard to establish. Consequently, it comes down to the lowest price wins. Low-cost equals low revenue equals cutting corners equals crappy service. My advice to you is to come up with an exit strategy and get out. It's a first or second income job today, not a sustainable career. That is not going to change.
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ReplyDeleteNice blog. Buddhist Funeral Packages at Singapore Bereavement Planners, our mission is to provide the grieving bereavement families an assurance of an affordable, dignified funeral for the loved one.
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